Final Reflections on Bangkok

1. The people here are super nice to the point of becoming servile.

 

2. Sometimes you can't tell if it's a man or a woman you're talking to.

 

3. Las Vegas has never seemed so tame to me. The streets are CRAWLING with prostitutes in certain sections here - you would think it was legal. Nearly every other couple you see is a white guy in his 60s with a Thai prostitute in her 20s. Walking down Soi Cowboy last night, I was groped by many a working lady. At first you really want to judge these johns, then you think, "Well, it's two consenting adults - let them have their fun." Then you see the guy's wedding band and you're back to judging. We got a good tip from my parents not to check out any live shows.

 

4. Even the bad food is good.

 

Soi Cowboy

Howdy. We are having not a disagreeable time here in Bangkok, the city of Thai Alicia Keys.' Great temples and shopping and tons of very friendly people. It's actually a nice change from poverty-shocking India and not too bad a transition from the Maldives. You can buy an orange Lamborghini at the mall. Tonight we might brave Soi Cowboy. You have to check it out, at least. Right? L8erz.

 

 

Pix Now Available!

Please check the links to the left for the first exciting photos!

P.S.

For some of the first wedding photos, check out our Facebook profiles!

Dogs With Wings

Imagine yourself sitting beside an infinity pool that overlooks a beach and crystal clear, pale blue lagoon. The empty, sandy beach is almost pure white and bilious white clouds roll closely overhead. A gentle, quiet Maldivian brings you a cold, damp towel that smells intoxicatingly of eucalyptus and grapefruit. Trance music softly lullabies in the background while a soothing sea breeze whispers promises through palm trees of absolute freedom forever.

Suddenly, a giant bat launches itself silently from a tree top and begins circling the pool menacingly. It's wingspan is somewhere between two and three feet and it's round, limpid eyes search for food...or a victim. It swoops down and skims the surface of the pool - most likely for an insect - a mere 10 feet from two splashing German tourists. Only you seem even to notice.

Well, our amazing time here on the island is almost up - we have a 1 p.m. flight from Male back to New Delhi, followed by a four hour flight to Bangkok. It's been real. Really good. We're sad to leave but looking forward to Thai adventures. Christmas is an extremely foreign and incongruous concept to us right now.

S

Bliggity Blog

-Stew acts as scribe for Dana this entry-

 

On Thursday, after fabulous breakfast with Brangelina and their six kids, we enjoyed a speed boat ride around the atoll and awesome snorkeling with sea turtles and trippy fish. We were accompanied by two fictional characters from Pedro Almodovar films, Paco y Catiana, a 65 and 53 year old couple who are in such great shape and so full of life as to make us seem like beached whale sharks. When speaking, they constantly sound as though they are plotting someone's death. [Editor's note: Catiana has the best bod I've ever seen on someone over 50 and wears scandalous swim suits to show it off.] Catiana shows up at breakfast in a sequined top and a silk one-piece jumper. She wore $25K earrings when we snorkled together. They both love Obama, so we love them. The rest of our days are pretty much spent deciding whether to go to the pool or take a nap. Somebody is constantly bringing us cold towels that smell like eucalyptus and grapefruit. Yesterday, we paddle-boated out to a nearby island. This experience reminded Stew of how thankful he is we're not going to be doing the bike ride through Cambodia. In the evening, we had a yoga class followed by an all-you-can-eat Japanese buffet. In two days we're heading to Bangkok, but we're looking forward to two more days here first.

More Maldives, Then Bangkok

I just saw the biggest bat in the world. The thing was four feet tall and 90 pounds, easy. In the middle of the day, too. I watched it fly into a treetop and then climb around on the branches like a MONKEY. Disgusting AND awesome. Went snorkeling today for the first time, which rocked. I saw these amazing purple, yellow, and green neon-striped fish, among others.

 

So, the new plan: we stay here an additional three days and then head to Bangkok for four days after things settle down there, which will give us an extra day to chill in Delhi before heading home. No bike trip, but that's OK with me.

 

Nivea sunscreen in the Maldives: $47*

Billabong t-shirt in the Maldives: $85*

Three additional days in the Maldives: PRICELESS

 

We're really happy about being here longer, as we're just settling into the place now. We can't afford it, but then, who can. Dana really wants to take an egregiously priced boat trip to swim with dolphins and sea turtles tomorrow. We'll see.

 

*TRUE.

 

S

No Bangkok/Thailand?

We just received back-to-back emails from the bike tour company in Bangkok, the first saying the trip is cancelled, the second saying it's back on because the airport should be open by Friday. We're both pretty much in favor of not going at this point, mainly because of the 250K people who will be trying to get out while we're flying in. IF the airport actually opens, that is. I'm pretty excited about staying here for four more days, but Dana says she only wants to do two more. Something about needing to do "something cultural" and "learning something." I told her she can learn how to snorkle and windsurf here, but she seems unconvinced of the value. It will suck somewhat not to make it to Thai/Camb, for sure, but I'm pretty happy here. We may just end up back in Delhi for a few extra days, unless we can come up with another alternative. I'd like Dana to be happy with whatever happens. Suggestions?

Maldives

Herrow, fwends. We made it here to the Maldives, which are retarded. We had an easy flight to Sri Lanka and then a 7 hour layover during which we were able to sleep on the floor of the Executive Lounge. Then, a quick hop to Male, Maldives, followed by a 45 minute seaplane ride to our tiny island paradise in the Indian Ocean. Retarded. The dinner buffet is ridiculous - we had lobster tail and five desserts. The water is crystal clear blue and our bungalow is built over the lagoon. We're on "island time," one hour ahead of India, which gives us an extra hour of daylight. We've already swam with huge blue fish and seen baby sharks and hermit crabs. Totally awetally. Tonight, walking to dinner, the moon toenail lined up with two stars to form a perfect smiley face, which we are certain was intentionally arranged for us. It's not looking good for photos and videos before we get home, sorry! The only bummer in an otherwise excellent situation. Oh, and craziness in India and Thailand. The wait will be worth it, though. We're fully expecting cute puppies and kittens waiting for us in bed when we get back to the bungalow.

 

Aloha,

Stew & Daner

P.S. Bangkok

We're due to fly into Bangkok, Thailand on Dec. 5 and are hoping a peaceful resolution is reached soon. We may have to change our plans and just keep hanging in Maldives/India. Exciting times.

Sri Lanka

We're here in the Sri Lanka airport at 1:38 a.m. waiting for our 7 a.m. flight to Male, Maldives. This airport is way better than the New Delhi one. We're chilling in the Executive Lounge with free tea and cookies, internet, and TV. Sadly, I was unable to obtain a power cable for my Mac in Delhi, so it may be a while before any pics or video go live. Total bummer.

Hopefully, someone in the Maldives will have one I can borrow, or something. I promise the wait is worth it. We had such a great time with everyone in Delhi and are wishing safe travels to all. We'll definitely have to plan for a reunion. I and others made ridiculous spectacles of ourselves at the wedding, dancing like idiots to Justin Timberlake. Good times, and oh-so-many photos. We were a little worried about the band we hired when they started with Celine Dion and the Eagles as dance music. Fortunately, the DJ took over soon and played a few from our extensively compiled list of ultimate dance music. The food was awesome and the atmosphere magical, complete with an abundance of good souls.